Have you ever noticed that your kids are somehow nicer when you’re not around? Every Mom has probably noticed that. It’s almost a universal known thing that kids misbehave around their moms the most.
You’re not imagining it. Psychologists know that it happens and more importantly, they know why. It’s important that you know why, too. Speaking of what psychologists know about kids that can really help you as a parent, read our post about how and why you should recognize anxiety in children.
We spotted this article, “Study: Children Are 800% Worse When Their Mothers are in the Room” (a fake study). Even though you will quickly realize that this is all in fun and totally fake, we all know that their is a lot of truth to this!
Why Kids Misbehave Around Their Moms
Unless there is some sort of trouble at home, kiddos know with every fiber in their little bodies that home is a safe place.
Sure, they know that if they grab a pair of scissors and jump up and down on the sofa, they are definitely getting in trouble.
And yes, they understand that hitting a sibling is going to put them on Mom’s bad side.
But more than anything else, kids understand that home is their soft place to land. They know they can trust you.
They know you love them no matter what.
In a nutshell, that’s why kids misbehave around their moms.
When young children are at school, for example, they are using every part of their limited power over their impulses.
In other words, it takes a lot of self-control for them to be on the right side of the rules for so many hours.
Kids know what the world expects of them for the school day. They need to follow the rules. That’s their job. Follow those rules.
When they get home they are like a bottle of soda that’s been shaken until it’s going to pop. If you take that lid off too quickly, it’ll explode.
It’s not their fault. It’s a challenge for little brains to control their behavior for so long a time.
Then you show up. The person they trust. The person that will love them even when they’re not perfect.
They can finally breathe and relax. They can be who they are in that moment. Grumpy. Happy. Loud. Tired. Messy.
You’ll still love them – even if you get angry at them. They are certain of it.
Tip: You can help kids transition from being at school to being at home by giving them some time to be loud and to run around and exercise. It’s a release. It’s like taking off the lid of the soda bottle slowly.
Whether your child is perfect at school, or at daycare, or at a friend’s house and then they walk through your door as a loud, crazy kid monster, it’s all the same thing.
You can see that as an aggravation (which I know it is). Or you can take a deep breath and remember that because you’re a great Mom, your kids can be themselves with you.
So if your kids are nicer when you’re not around, remind yourself that it’s because you’re doing the whole Mom thing right.
You’ve taught your kids how to behave well in the world.
Even more importantly, you’ve taught them that you’re a loving Mom who will tuck them in bed and love them today, tomorrow and forever.
Nice going, Momma!
You may like this positive discipline book for toddlers for the days that they do act up around you. It’s very helpful!
Leave a Review!
We LOVE hearing from you! Submit your question or comment here.
Your email address will not be published.
87 comments on “A New Study Shows That Kids Are The Most Misbehaved Around Their Moms”
This is exactly what’s wrong with kids today! Parents who feel like children are entitled to their “space”. As if school is a tremendous imposition on their rights or freedom to be children and we, as parents, have to provide opportunities for them to be “themselves”. Absolutely ludicrous! The job of parenting is to teach children to conform to the expectations of the world which will make no allowances for them. Stop acting as if childhood is some protected environment and it’s our job to cushion the blow. It’s our job to prepare them for the realities of life and we have created a generation of soft, weak children who will be destroyed when they face life head on. Don’t let your children be monsters with you, moms. Teach them to respect you, to obey you, to behave! Life isn’t fair, get over it kids.
Amen. Thank you for good ole common sense.
The answer to that question is a no brainer. Kids misbehave when they know someone is around who will take up for them when they do. An ally in other words.
I like how an article is written a certain way and females are quick to bash the males for asking the obvious question that the article has quietly presented. For the majority of homes there is a father present. So basically what it sounds like you are saying is that kids don’t trust that their dads will love them no matter what so. So they won’t misbehave around them because they don’t get that feeling of unconditional love? Very valid question I think
Many times we asked ourselves “where did we go wrong?” but recently we witnessed our 15 year old completely transform into a gentleman during a school interview. Then again during his school conference! We can finally see some real progress. Hoping for the best! Thank you for the article.
And parents know it and approve their behavior
Mothers AND grandmothers!!******
My son sees my mom and immediately goes crazy with excitement
Thank u. I just thought my parenting was way wrong and my dad and mother was better at it. My son tells me he doesn’t act out with my dad because he will get mad at him….. The aticle explains this way of thinking very well. He is afrade they wont love him as much and wants to follow the rules. But with me he knows i will still love him……
Wow there are a lot of men on here crying “but what about me!”. Yes, don’t worry there will be articles praising dads and the brilliant recipe they bring to the table for children. I think sometimes you just have to read an article in the spirit it was intended and not get offended because your demographic wasn’t a key factor mentioned.
I’m an inhome carer/educator and a mum and it grates me daily that my own child is the worst behaved of all the kids, even though I give the same expectations and consequences as my care kids & sometimes even more because I’m careful not to show favouritism. Our daughter is so good for aunties, friends and grandparents but the minute she’s with us or particularly me, she breaks down and pushes all the boundaries and seems to go nuts!! She’s a little better for Dad but not always. I realised this was happening with a lot of my care children too! The minute mum or Dad walked in, suddenly this “other” child would appear and reek havoc, talk back, get physical or become obnoxious. One boy would run around so crazily that it became a running joke because he often injured himself from falling over, he once ran into a bush and poked his eye or bumped his head on a wall due to swinging around Mum or Dads legs at pick up time. This author is completely right, kids behave well all day and hold it in and then let their crazy emerge for parents and it’s not just Mums, it’s definitely Dads too. In fact it can be whoever the child may view as the primary caregiver or whomever seems to let them be themselves unconditionally and fly their freak flag! Hahaha
NEW study? OLD truth!
Mindless. Children misbehave around the mother because the father is typically the one who does the disciplining (spanking). Not because “you’re a great Mom, your kids can be themselves with you.” or “because you’re doing the whole Mom thing right.” They can’t be themselves around dad, or?
“You’ve taught your kids how to behave well in the world.”
And now I present to you the crime statistics of father-less youths…
Absolute cringe to read. Pat yourself on the back some more.
I would have to agree to disagree with this. In my experience anyway…..me, the mom, I’m the one that does the discipline (grounding, spanking, ect.) at our house, not my husband and my kids are still like this. They misbehave more with me than anybody else especially my husband. He has rarely ever disciplined them and yet they behave better with him. At school ive never had issues with them. They make straight A’S and all their teachers have always had nothing but good things to say about them. They Tell me they are some of the best behaved kids in the class and has such great manners and is very respectful to anybody they come in contact with. Always very helpful and friendly to others. Just all around the perfect kids almost but at home with me its like they are different kids. So me personally, i can relate to this article. Not saying dad doesn’t play an important role in a kids life but its not always just cause they don’t get disciplined.
Pffft ok I do the spanking the father isn’t in the picture!!! Actually nobody is I do it all by myself!!! My son acts terrible around me but anyone else will tell you he’s such a good kid!!! My response every time is haha live with him!!! Explain that!!! So yes I can relate to this article!!! And it’s definitely not because I don’t correct him!!! Believe me he gets his fair share of spankings!!!
Agreed. I was raised in the Caribbean by my mother and was expected to be well behaved at all times. My father was the more lax parent that allowed me to do what I wanted, but I was still well behaved because that’s how my mother raised me. I understand the whole “safe space” thing, but it doesn’t mean you can’t trust your parents and be well behaved at the same time.
I supposed it boils down to The child’s personality and the parenting styles…
Amazing – I’m a single mom to 3 little boys (2 year old twins and a 3 year old!). I really needed to hear this today! I had a parent-teacher conference at their daycare and was bracing myself for the worst. I was incredibly surprised when they said my boys listen and do very well in structured settings (like walking in line….sitting in a circle…behaving at the lunch table). I’m like, “What? Are you sure you are talking about MY kids?” LOL. So thank you for this confirmation that my boys aren’t just little Dr. Jeckylls and Mr. Hydes!
If psychologists know the answer then you should ask them why dogs also do the same thing.
It’s way deeper than bottled up energy alone. No discipline and no follow through if they try.
People, stop the insanity! If this article doesn’t hold true for you… Fine! If this article doesn’t mention you… It’s still okay! The internet is a big place. Run a search for what ever type of person or parent you are and “misbehaving kids” and I’m sure you will find what ever validation or argument you need.
Seriously, if you have kids and can still hold everything together, you deserve an award. Nobody has taken anything away from you by writing, reading or commenting on this article. Stop acting like you have been robbed or wronged.
This is a light hearted puff piece to read while you are in the bathroom or hiding in the pantry or after the kids have gone to bed… whenever you found the time to read. Gold Star for reading!!! Now get back out there and fight the good fight. Your kids need you more than you need to argue about this article.
Absolute rubbish!!! Insert parent instead of mum you may have something. Stop associating home/with mum as the same thing you may have something. Absolute utter twoddle otherwise. There’s only one role at home and that is parent/guardian, there’s no gender attached to family roles, as there is only one !
Wow! Great article and ineteresting point of view. I would have never thought about that. It brings soo much into perspective.
I agree with this article 100%, accepting gender roles even though I’m a Democrat. Women have the compassion for caring and nurturing, while men have the capacity to … wait game of thrones. SHUT UP!!! EVERYBODY
I wish we had the ability to “like” comments here, because Bill, you speak truth.
I guess if you really read into it, it’s saying kids are different away from home. It’s a known fact. I am a father who raised my two boys and daughter by myself since they were about 5 years old. Now they are grown with kids of their own, and yet they still know they are safe and loved here with old dad. I am currently raising my 15 year old grandson for last 14 years. We have our ups and downs, but at the end of the day he knows he’s safe and loved with Papa. Great Article.
Turns out fire is hot and the earth is round as well
Awesome information
Oh wow, I knew it!
Nah nah ma nah