Losing a pet is so much more painful than most people realize. It can even end in “broken heart syndrome.” Here’s how.
The Agony of Losing a Pet
When a pet dies, the family who loved that fur baby is grief-stricken. Pets are family members. They are there when we wake up, and beside us when we go to sleep. They see us sick, happy, angry, sad, and they never pass judgment. Our pets see the truth of who we are and they love us in spite of ourselves.
Isn’t that what family is supposed to do? Be there in good and bad times, offering support and unconditional love? Some may say they don’t even get that kind of care from their human families.
That’s why Scientific American says we should take pet loss seriously.
The aching hearts of those who lose a pet are often lonely hearts. After her dog died, a woman suffered from a terrible condition called “broken heart syndrome.” SA explains, “It can happen when the response to grief is so severe the person exhibits symptoms that mimic a heart attack, including elevated hormone levels that can be 30 times greater than normal.”
Essentially, the author says when you’re in anguish after this kind of loss, you need to reach out and let people know how badly you’re hurting.
“We need to seek social support from people we know will understand and sympathize with our emotions and not judge us for them.”
I think as a society we can always do a better job of supporting each other.
Crossing the Rainbow Bridge
You were used to morning purring to wake you up and now it’s quiet. You and your good boy always went for a walk before heading to bed. Now the leash hangs still.
When you open the front door, no one runs to you. At night all you can think about is how long it been since you slept in a bed without a four-legged friend taking up all the space.
That’s why the rest of us should show up, be loving, supportive and continue to be so for as long as it takes. There is no timeline on grief.
“It is time we gave grieving pet owners the recognition, support and consideration they need. Yes, it is up to us to identify and address our emotional wounds when our pet dies, but the more validation we receive from those around us, the quicker and the more complete our psychological recovery will be.” – Scientific American
If you’ve lost a pet, I want you to know how sorry I am you’re in pain. Tell us about them in the comments. What made you love them so? Did they have a favorite toy or a sweet way of showing you their love?
Don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist to help you get through.
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249 comments on “The Agony of Losing a Pet Is Worse Than People Know”
My pup just passed this morning. She was almost 12 I’m devastated.Â
Thank you so much for this article. I really thought I was losing my mind because no one could understand… My family lost our 5yr old lab/Weimaraner Jasmine, suddenly  just 6 days ago and the pain I feel is unexplainable, we would e given anything for more time with her, but her liver failed and it was the hardest decision in my life to let her go since she tried so hard to seem ok around us. My emotions are so mixed and I felt like it just wasn’t right to reach out for therapy over it so thank you again!
As the mother of 3 young active boys I couldn’t of been happier when Jenny a 12 year old female cat was up to be rehomed we were moveing to the perfect home and for me she would be the girl I had needed in my life so we arranged to home her she completed my family and unfortunaly suffered skin cancer 2 years after arriveing but got through it I always knew she was an older cat and may not have much time left but she spent 5 1/2 wonderful years. Unfortunately just over a week ago I had to make the decision to put her at peace she had gone into end stage heart failure and was dyeing before my eyes no words can describe the heartbreak this has caused no matter how much you prepare and you know what has to be done nothing hurts like that final goodbye. I hope one day my heart will heal enough to look back and only smile of such amazing memories of her but for now my pain is very raw I lost my girl and feel so alone without her around. Healing vibes to everyone suffering the same pain right now may all our loved pets rip.
I have lost my cats Misty and Binx one year after the other. It has been 2 years. The pain never goes away really. My heart gets heavy still when I think about them
I lost my boy 4 1/2 weeks ago and I am having all sorts of emotions going thru me. Loneliness, guilt, love, emptiness, heart is broken into pieces, this hole in my stomach, it’s all unbearable. He just turned 13 in January, but was diagnosed with insulinoma last Oct. 1, 2018. My life revolved around him 24/7. I am retired, so that made it a little easy. The medications were very expensive, the ultrasounds as well, but as we went along, I didn’t think he’d go down so fast as the last 2 weeks he was alive. I look at his puppy picture, with those blue eyes, and what a wonderful dog he turned out to be. He loved everyone and other dogs too. Even when we relocated to another state a year and half ago, he was a trouper. He had to give up his yard to going for walks as we moved into a townhome. I am so glad now that I had that time with him, but I truly believe the prednisone is what made him deteriorate to skin and bones and essentially make his joints so weak he couldn’t do stairs, or go on long walks anymore. That last nite was the hardest because it was the first time he was so uncomfortable, couldn’t lay down for more than 5 minutes and kept moving into different spots. The next day, before we took him to the vet, he lay in our garage, and kept staring at me with those “eyes”. those eyes that said please help me, I hurt, I am done. He wouldn’t eat, drink and didn’t want to go for a walk, nothing but lay there on that cool floor. I have never felt so guilty, that maybe there was something more I could’ve done, but the vet assured me I did a lot more than most would have done. I miss him so, so much, that I look at the LR rug, and remember how I laid on the floor and massaged him 3 – 4 times a day, or when I come home, and he’s not there by the door, or following me into each room I went into. I wrote him a letter and made collages of him, and gave some of his stuff away, but his chew bones are still where he left them the last time he chewed on them. His urn is on the china cabinet, but I would rather just carry it around with me, holding him, but I cant. I taught him how to play catch, and I found that video and play it over and over and the one where he is running down our old fence with the dogs next door. I miss his bark so much, and how playful he was before he got sick. I will be talking with a grief counselor tomorrow.
The two dogs that I miss the most are Daisy and Little. Daisy was our Beagle and she was a very loving dog. Little was our Cheagle. She was a rescue and no one ever knew we had a dog. She never barked and was extremely loving.
I lost my sweet Ruby 1 week ago today. She was 15 and has been through all of life’s crazy with me. College, marriage, kids, sickness, you name it and my girl was right there to support me. I miss her so and I know that broken heart syndrome is real. I can feel it. There are some days my heart is so heavy I think I’ll never make it out of this. Thank you for writing this article. It is a much needed read.Â
I lost my beloved love bug, Lucy June 19th. It’s been almost a year and I still can’t look at her picture without crying. She slept in my arms as I lay on my side… for 6 years. I have yet to had s good nights sleep since. She was my constant companion and I miss her do much. I am 66 I Hot Shinhkes 1 week after she died….. I am surprised I didn’t die from a broken heart.Â
Skittles was my 17 lb. Cat. Not a fat cat but a big cat…so our his brothers. Sept 19, 18 i had to make a decision. He was dying of heart failure they said. Only 3 yrs old. Totally not fair. I miss him lying on my chest and as you can imagine he covered my tummy too. I miss him purring, licking my hand, curling up by my feet at night. Racing me to the door. Coming when i called his name. Snickers my other cat was lost without him for a long time. I dread the one year anniversary.
Her name was raina. She was 2 years old. After attacking our other dog for the 6th time. I was done. But I loved her sweet, night cuddling’s in the couch. But the was getting unpredictable.Â
Thankyou for this article. People dont understand that I’m still grieving after a year. My dog died from a rare blood disease and I wasn’t told by the vet his blood work showed something going on. I feel helpless I couldn’t help him sooner!!
Hugo. He was 1.5 years old when he was diagnosed with Acute leukemia. Our hearts will always hurt for our baby boy. With treatment he would have lasted 4 months and that’s wasnt fair of us to put him through that pain. We gave him a wonderful weekend full of good food and company until his body told us it was time. He crossed the rainbow bridge on 6/3/2019. I feel guilty every day that I couldnt do more for him. It just wasnt fair. He was mommy’s baby boy. I dont know that I will ever get over this loss.
Tomorrow makes a week that I lost my good boy. His name was Old Redd. He was by my side for thirteen years. God knows I would do anything to get him back. Thank you, for this article. It’s nice to know that someone understands and doesn’t think I’m overreacting.
I lost my 15 yr old dog June 24 2019 that was by my side day and night. The pain is real and the emptiness I feel is overwhelming.
My Max was 11 years old and was diagnosed with bone cancer in Feb 2020. I chose quality over quantity of life. He was my protector and best friend. I had to help him to The Rainbow Bridge on 6.29.2020 and Ive been crying ever since. I hate coming home because he’s not waiting at the door with that wagging tail!
I lost Joe the wonder dog a week ago very fast. He helped me through a divorce, the loss of two other dogs, a whole life change and through the stay at home order. His disease was fast and no cure. My heart is so broken.