Losing a pet is so much more painful than most people realize. It can even end in “broken heart syndrome.” Here’s how.
The Agony of Losing a Pet
When a pet dies, the family who loved that fur baby is grief-stricken. Pets are family members. They are there when we wake up, and beside us when we go to sleep. They see us sick, happy, angry, sad, and they never pass judgment. Our pets see the truth of who we are and they love us in spite of ourselves.
Isn’t that what family is supposed to do? Be there in good and bad times, offering support and unconditional love? Some may say they don’t even get that kind of care from their human families.
That’s why Scientific American says we should take pet loss seriously.
The aching hearts of those who lose a pet are often lonely hearts. After her dog died, a woman suffered from a terrible condition called “broken heart syndrome.” SA explains, “It can happen when the response to grief is so severe the person exhibits symptoms that mimic a heart attack, including elevated hormone levels that can be 30 times greater than normal.”
Essentially, the author says when you’re in anguish after this kind of loss, you need to reach out and let people know how badly you’re hurting.
“We need to seek social support from people we know will understand and sympathize with our emotions and not judge us for them.”
I think as a society we can always do a better job of supporting each other.
Crossing the Rainbow Bridge
You were used to morning purring to wake you up and now it’s quiet. You and your good boy always went for a walk before heading to bed. Now the leash hangs still.
When you open the front door, no one runs to you. At night all you can think about is how long it been since you slept in a bed without a four-legged friend taking up all the space.
That’s why the rest of us should show up, be loving, supportive and continue to be so for as long as it takes. There is no timeline on grief.
“It is time we gave grieving pet owners the recognition, support and consideration they need. Yes, it is up to us to identify and address our emotional wounds when our pet dies, but the more validation we receive from those around us, the quicker and the more complete our psychological recovery will be.” – Scientific American
If you’ve lost a pet, I want you to know how sorry I am you’re in pain. Tell us about them in the comments. What made you love them so? Did they have a favorite toy or a sweet way of showing you their love?
Don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist to help you get through.
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249 comments on “The Agony of Losing a Pet Is Worse Than People Know”
We had taken in my daughter’s poodle Brandie, because her and her husband had gotten back together and he was living in a no pet home. She loved me and would follow me around the house. She loved to ride in the car, sitting on my left leg as she watched her world go by. She slept on my feet each night. Every evening we had computer time. The longer she was with us, her attitude came to the front. She was loving and grouchy. She hated my husband with a passion and even that changed through the years. One day at work, my husband called and said she had a stroke. By the time I got there, she had come out of it but she couldn’t move. Her eyes followed you everywhere. I had bought a stroller before her stroke and now I used it to take her from room to room as I worked. By Monday morning, she had not improved but gotten worse. My spouse and I agreed it was time. I wanted to be with her as the time came but he said it would be better if I didn’t go in with her. When it was over, they wrapped her up in her blanket for us to bring her home. As I held her on our way home I could feel my heart ripping in two and it worsened when I said goodbye. She was 14.
I lost Taco in mid December. Taco was a 16 year old cream white chihuahua. He had saw me through thick and thin through 16 years. He went out to go potty and never returned. I don’t feel like I will ever receive any closure from him.
He showed his love to me in so many ways. He never left me alone and would always check and see what I was doing. For most of his life, he slept with me and even when tell me when bedtime was. He had a curl on his tail and he always wagged his tail until the end of his life. I will always miss those things about him.
In spite of the pain that I feel, I know that he is no longer in pain and this provides me peace. I am still tearful when his name comes up and I suspect that this will continue to occur. Let me add that I am a mental health professional myself thus I am quite familiar with the grief process. For now, I am allowing myself to feel the sadness as it means that his life meant something to me!
We lost our Beau a few days before Christmas. The house is so quiet, so empty. The bed is so big and colder now. His footprints remain edged in the snow. I just cleaned his slobber off the sliding glass doors. We miss him terribly.
My dog passed away October 16, 2022. She was 2 months shy of turning 18. She was given to me when I was 17 as a gift, from at the time my boyfriend. She was my everything and more. She was there for everything, from meeting my husband, welcoming 4 children and moving to new homes over the years. We shared so many precious memories together. I knew her time was coming as I could see she was declining in her final year. An then that day came, she stopped eating, drinking, light barking and you could see it In her eyes. She passed away at home on her own surrounded her family. I have been a mess since, lost my other half. Broken-hearted and lost without her. I can’t put her beds or her dog dish away, I just leave it there hoping to find my peace. The hardest thing I’ve had to deal with. I hope to find my peace soon ️
We lost 2 of our sweet pups on 11/21/22 and 12/9/22. They were 13 and 14 years old and best friends! Even though they were older we were not prepared for the pain we are feeling! We loved them from the first day we brought them home. I’m not sure if we could ever do this again. We’ve had dogs all of our lives but now we are older and afraid to try again. The chihuahua, Tucker, was 14 and got so sick so fast! He stopped eating we did all we could to keep him comfortable. He loved to sleep between my legs on the recliner. I loved watching him sleep. He was precious. The other was our rescue, Tessa. She was 13 and developed diabetes last summer. She was on insulin twice a day. My daughter cooked her food every week to keep her on a healthy diet. She was so sweet. She and Tucker loved each other and would lay together on a blanket. How do you move on from this pain? My husband says no more dogs….that’s not the answer. We need time to grieve. They weren’t just dogs, they were family!
We lost our boy Buck (Sphynx) cat on 12/30/2022 at the age of 10 1/2. He was an amazing, loving, affectionate and most of all our best friend. He would watch television with me, snuggle with me and greet us at the door. He was vocal and never likes being alone. He liked baths, rubs, greenie treats and most of all his shark bed. My gentle old soul I would refer to him as. He only suffered a very shot time, our lives are changed furever, we know he’s no lover suffering. We are heartbroken without him.
I lost not just my Emotional Support Animal…but my best friend. My spouse said that if I had a choice…the dog would always win. WeeMan was always there for me…no judgment, just pure love and affection. I didn’t have much time to prepare for his crossing. I took him to the vet for a tooth issue that ended up being a fast growing malignant melanoma and he was gone 4 weeks later. I took him to a specialist hoping for a miracle and ready to sell my soul for the miracle….but he said with this type of cancer there was no hope. Just take him home and enjoy his last few days/weeks. So that’s what I did….until it got to the point when I was keeping him alive because I couldn’t imagine life without him.
And don’t think that you can just run out and get a new dog to fill the hole left in your heart …it’s unfair to everyone. I tried and it just didn’t work ( thankfully he took to my spouse, so we didn’t “ discard “ of him)..
I don’t know how long it’s going to take before I am not hurting so bad..if ever.
I am in counseling and wish there was a support group…( yes I am serious!)
I am sorry for anyone else going through this.
We lost 1 of our fur-babies in October. She was our little angel, she literally had white fur on her shoulders mimiking wings. She was fiesty en fierce! Barked back in a funny way, when she was asked something. She loved to go on a drive with us. And she loved kisses and cuddeling! She loved het bacon (doggy treats) and she loved her pink teddies! Althou we have 3 other fur-babies, she was our 1st. She was 7 years old. The eldest. My heart aches for her everyday! I miss her so much!! I will love her forever my Libby-loo!!!!
We lost our two dogs almost one month from the day of each other. My dogs were both rescued hound mixes and both about 11 years old. They were my everything and also there for me. My female Charlotte started having a weird bark on Oct 7th. We found a lump in her throat the next day. We brought her to the vet on Oct 10th. They did tests and found that she had cancer either lymphoma or thyroid. She declined quickly and on Oct 22nd in the middle of the night was having difficulty breathing. We rushed her to the animal hospital and had to put her down. We were devastated! Although we knew our male dog Dunkin sensed she was sick, coming home without her hit him hard. He had severe osteoarthritis of both hips and was on so many medications and he was also starting with dementia. Her loss not only hit us hard but also him. He stopped eating and was barely taking his meds. He was so depressed. Did not want to get off the couch, would not play. We had to force him to go outside. I know he was also feeling the pain I was feeling. On November 20th as we sat on the floor together as we always did, the unthinkable happened. He attacked me and bit my face and hand. After he did it he was confused and I know it was not his normal behavior. After treating my wounds (which were not too severe) the next day we brought him to the vet. We discussed our options but was determined that since his condition and health declined so much so quickly the only humane thing to do was to put him down. It was also a safety concern as they felt if he attacked me, the alpha in the house , anyone was fair game. So we made that tough decision. Vet felt he also had a broken heart. The loss of my two companions was com was almost too much to bear. My husband and kids were upset but to me it was like the world had stopped. Although some people thought it was too soon within two weeks I had adopted a puppy who now has filled some of the void in my heart. I still think of my other babies everyday and will always love and miss them but my new baby is making things more bearable and I love her so much and am going to get another soon.
I just lost my fur baby on 11/29/22, it was heartbreaking, this was my 4 th dog I had to say goodbye to and it’s never easy. I still cry every time I think of her, for some reason losing her was extremely hard for me, I know time heals all wounded hearts, this one is going to take a lot longer to get past.