Losing a pet is so much more painful than most people realize. It can even end in “broken heart syndrome.” Here’s how.
The Agony of Losing a Pet
When a pet dies, the family who loved that fur baby is grief-stricken. Pets are family members. They are there when we wake up, and beside us when we go to sleep. They see us sick, happy, angry, sad, and they never pass judgment. Our pets see the truth of who we are and they love us in spite of ourselves.
Isn’t that what family is supposed to do? Be there in good and bad times, offering support and unconditional love? Some may say they don’t even get that kind of care from their human families.
That’s why Scientific American says we should take pet loss seriously.
The aching hearts of those who lose a pet are often lonely hearts. After her dog died, a woman suffered from a terrible condition called “broken heart syndrome.” SA explains, “It can happen when the response to grief is so severe the person exhibits symptoms that mimic a heart attack, including elevated hormone levels that can be 30 times greater than normal.”
Essentially, the author says when you’re in anguish after this kind of loss, you need to reach out and let people know how badly you’re hurting.
“We need to seek social support from people we know will understand and sympathize with our emotions and not judge us for them.”
I think as a society we can always do a better job of supporting each other.
Crossing the Rainbow Bridge
You were used to morning purring to wake you up and now it’s quiet. You and your good boy always went for a walk before heading to bed. Now the leash hangs still.
When you open the front door, no one runs to you. At night all you can think about is how long it been since you slept in a bed without a four-legged friend taking up all the space.
That’s why the rest of us should show up, be loving, supportive and continue to be so for as long as it takes. There is no timeline on grief.
“It is time we gave grieving pet owners the recognition, support and consideration they need. Yes, it is up to us to identify and address our emotional wounds when our pet dies, but the more validation we receive from those around us, the quicker and the more complete our psychological recovery will be.” – Scientific American
If you’ve lost a pet, I want you to know how sorry I am you’re in pain. Tell us about them in the comments. What made you love them so? Did they have a favorite toy or a sweet way of showing you their love?
Don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist to help you get through.
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249 comments on “The Agony of Losing a Pet Is Worse Than People Know”
On father’s day this year I lost my heart dog who was there with me through the darkest times of my life, who saw the birth of my two daughters, who was there for them guiding them and protecting them. She was my constant companion after leaving my marriage and having my children ripped from me by their abusive father. She was by my side while I rebuilt my life and finally achieved my dream of being a career firefighter. She was my fur to cry into when I lost my dad on June 1, 2017, my most devastating loss to that date. And she was there when I finally met the love of my life and approved him. The grief I feel losing my Nikita is unlike anything I’ve ever felt. My husky girl was my first child and my heart dog. I will never have another like her….
Oh boy where do I start. Corky my hunter beagle was my best friend, no I should say our best friend. She was a pound puppy. She spent 17 1/2 years by my side and we did daycare together. If I ever wanted to know when walk time was(with the kidlets), she always let us know. She was very kind and loving and at 10 years old accepted my son’s new puppy and 6 years later a 2 year old, both Heelers. She loved to play ball, play fight(she only ever nipped one person – my husband). She loved to play fight with him. Sometimes all it took was a certain look and they were off. Car rides and 2 french fries were right up there. She’ll be a very hard act to follow, if the time ever comes. Sorry, I tend to ramble on about her. Thank you for listening. I so understand.
I agree, and in some ways it is worse than losing a family member. Friends understand losing a family member, but many of them think “it’s just a cat”. My Bellboy was my support through a difficult divorce and starting a new life. When he suddenly got sick we rushed home and despite 5 days in kitty intensive care, he died. Even now, 15 years later I still miss him and tear up remembering him. And while it was a little helpful that I still had his sister, I still missed him. As a tip, since I knew she would miss him as well, we brought his body home and let her check him out and let her watch as we buried him. She seemed okay after that but during his hospital days she was obviously looking for him.
We took our Lilo Bear to the vet today after she was unable to get up…blood work and x-rays showed a splenic tumor that ruptured so she was bleeding internally…surgery would have been a 50/50 chance so we decided as a family to send her on her journey to the rainbow bridge with love and peace. She would have been 11 in November! She was the most wonderful dog and I already miss her. Everything in our home reminds me of her! I am heartbroken
I lost my Buzzy 3 weeks ago to a terrible accident. Fortunately I was there with him till the end, but feel a tremendous amount of guilt for not being able to save him. My heart aches for my Buzz daily and see him in literally everything I do. My daughter and other dog are so heart broken as well, and it kills me to know there is nothing I can do to ease their heart ache and sorrow. This sudden loss is one of the hardest things I have ever experienced, and it is truly a struggle to get by without my best friend everyday. It eases the pain to think that he is free to roam as he always loved in doggy heaven.
Thank you for your timely article. We lost our beloved cat, Buddy, on May 29. Buddy had congestive heart failure and we didn’t even know he was sick. He was hiding it from us for as long as he could. His doctor said cats tend to do this. Grateful for the “bonus” week we had with him but it still is so difficult and sadly people that have never had a special animal connection just don’t understand. I feel sorry for them. The loyal and unconditional love they give us is beyond comparison. Meet me at the bridge, Buddy. We’ll be looking for you.
Bitty was Shih tzu that I rescue from an acquaintance she had been living outdoors for 2 years in a dog. She had dread locks 6 inches long. I was a cat person but determined to find her a good home. After getting her cleaned up with the help of some friends, I found her 3 good homes but could not left go. I’m not sure who rescued who. It got where if she couldn’t go with me I didn’t go. We would family. It took 10 months before she actually licked my hand. But she would crawl up on me and nudge my face with her nose. I finally met a new and after a few weeks I asked him if he knew the quickest way to make me mad and he said”mess with my dog”. Because she always came first. We are this together. Bitty had an amazing life. She vacations, camping, dog sitters, birthday parties, Christmas stockings. everyone loved her because after 5 years of neglect she still had the sweetest personality, the most beautiful face and the biggest heart. I lost her 4 years ago and even though we have a new baby, I’ll never get over loosing my best friend ever. She was one of a kind. (I cried the entire time I wrote this). I don’t have children but I would imagine that the pain is compatible.)
My my fur-baby chance just turn 10 March just passed away June 8th 2019 unexpectedly to start the story of our life together chances was a Border Collie Chow mix I watched him in his litter people and the minute he was born he was the one I wanted I will know where everyday added him cuddle with them played with him treated hey wonderfully strong bonds with chance until I can bring him home his forever sick with the Chow long with the Border Collie his ears in his chest hair or bib when he was a baby looks like you to the crimping iron to him as I got older it only looked at crimpy when he got wet the only place chance didn’t go me was work chance was never left alone so when I was at work he was with my boyfriend his daddy he went everywhere and if he wasn’t allowed I wouldn’t go I took them hiking for long walks and also my lawn to the beach any type of water he loved to clean the water his tail with wag back and forth in my laminate the whole time looking for the little minnow fish at the edge of the water he liked to dive 4 rocks chance was my world my soulmate the way he looked at me he knew when I needed him the most and I knew what each of his looks meant what he wanted with every turn of the head cry bark or whimper I couldn’t even normally take selfies with me cuz everytime I did I turn to look at him just a little sleep automatically hit try start kissing me he would sleep in bed with me right up against my side when it was just me and him in the car when I was driving had to hold his paw and rub it for a little while he never grew out of that I started that when he was a puppy when I first got him when he was a little nervous about being in the car I dressed him up for Halloween I didn’t force him he didn’t mind I thrown birthday parties with my sister and my niece and their dog I’d make dog safe cakes chance was my world and on June 8th my world came to an end how do you was great we had awesome day you spent the whole day at the beach I had his doggy bag which consists of treats food toys towel bowls and plenty of water we got home and he seemed fine nothing major and normal he had a bad back leg and I knew that he overdid it a little bit at the beach so I gave him a kiss he kissed me back I told him when he was ready to come outside with me and Daddy I went outside I was doing out there 5 minutes he let out this god-awful cry I’ve never heard that sound and never want to again I knew something was wrong ran inside quickly he stopped crying head hit the floor I started CPR what time is too late I couldn’t save my baby I don’t know what happened and I want people don’t get it chance wasn’t a dog he was more than a dog he was smart and handsome I don’t know what to do without him I have a huge hole and I just feel like I’m breaking I feel like I’m in a bad dream that I can’t wake up I still have his food and water does and anyting else his toys where he left them I won’t move them I have my baby cremated I have and your necklace that my sister brought me to put a little bit of chance in the with me I haven’t taken it off I cry everyday the first couple days are the hardest now I put on a show in front of everybody else that things are fine but they’re not at night I take the box that has his ashes and I sleep with it hugging it all day long crying and wishing to have him back I have owned by their dogs and cats growing up but chances are way different from all of them his personality I don’t even think he knew he was a dog I think he thought it was a person I’m still struggling I talked to my sister once in awhile I don’t want to burden anybody with my feelings just like this article says some people don’t get it my sister does but she has her own life so I’m still grieving and it doesn’t seem like it’s ever going to stop doesn’t sound like it’s getting easier I know it’s only been just under two weeks that he’s been gone I’m trying to stay strong and I think of all the happy memories like he like his butt spanked not hard sweet but he would stand there turn his head and look at you and he wants you to Pat his ass inside a big butt big butt and then he would do this jump twirl thing bark and then stand in front of you for you to do it again rest in peace my baby boy
Thank you for this article. We lost our 17 year old Dog, Buddy yesterday. Our family is heart broken, but we know he is in a better place. It is so difficult
Today I just had to put down a cat I received 4 or 5 yrs ago. He was 15 yrs old and ended up with a tumor. He wax like an old grouch in the last week.