Some senior citizens are waving an enthusiastic good-bye to nursing homes and embracing senior cohousing living. I’ll explain what it is and why it’s potentially so great.
If you have aging parents who are making choices about where to spend their twilight years, senior cohousing is something you may want to bring up with them. Although it’s being seen as a new trend, history shows it’s been around in some form for centuries. There was a time when families kept their aging relatives with them. They were involved in running the household and helping with kids, which kept them happy, healthy and moving. I wish it was still this way. (If that’s your current situation, would you tell us about it in the comments?)
Senior Cohousing – The Facts
According to A Place for Mom, the average cost of a nursing home is between $4,000-$8,000 a month! PS: You’re not likely to have your own room for that price. The nursing home industry in the United States is ripe with corruption and abuse. It is, in most cases, a money grab for big businesses.
Senior cohousing, however, is a way for our older population to age in a way that may be much healthier both physically and mentally.
SeniorLiving.org explains cohousing this way.
Senior cohousing is a type of living community that combines private homes with clustered living spaces. A senior cohousing community includes 20 to 40 single-family or attached homes arranged so that everyone shares the same lawn space and walkways. Forty homes are the intentional maximum to be able to accommodate to the community arrangement. Everyone has their own personal living space, in addition to a shared common house. This house typically includes a large kitchen, dining room, den, and laundry room.
Mom and Dad can have their own little home or apartment in a small community, while also having their friends right next door to support each other. The buildings and grounds are laid out to be easier for folks to get around. They can gather together in one building, if they like, and prepare meals, play games or just hang out.
The main motivation for such communities is that humans need connections with other humans in order to thrive. It’s especially vital for our aging parents and grandparents.
Louis Cozolino, professor of psychology at Pepperdine University and author of Timeless: Nature’s Formula for Health and Longevity, writes that human brains are social organs. He says that means that “we are wired to connect with each other and to interact in groups. A life that maximizes social interaction and human-to-human contact is good for the brain at every stage, particularly for the aging brain.”
How Much Does Senior Cohousing Cost?
To find out, I did some snooping. I’m sad to say that many, if not most of the websites, don’t make it easy. They want you to call. I’m sure that’s so they can make a sales pitch. Unfortunately, that leaves me without a range of numbers for you.
It’s actually not always easy to find senior cohousing online. There is a website called Cohousing.org but I found that even that site doesn’t make it easy to find a place. So many of the communities are still under construction, which is good news for the coming years.
If senior cohousing interests your aging parents, I encourage you to be aggressive in your search. Definitely start with Cohousing.org, but don’t give up if you don’t find anything there. Try After55.com as well.
Talk to Your Parents
They may not know that there are senior cohousing communities where they would be incredibly happy, active, and social. Getting out to visit some that you find could be all they need to make the move.
What is your opinion of this kind of living situation for our aging parents? Have you had first-hand experience in your family?
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50 comments on “Grow Old With Friends In Senior Cohousing”
I currently live with my daughter and granddaughter. I am disabled, so this gives me a safe place. I am 90% responsible for the care of my granddaughter because my daughter is Active duty Navy and her position requires much time away from home. It works well for us.
This is something I’ve been interested in for years. I own a Construction company in one of the most beautiful places to live in the world, Vermont. Unfortunately, it is also one of the most expensive places to live. We have a shortage of affordable senior housing options in this State and I’ve often fantasized about building a community like this. The problem is that I don’t have the money to purchase the property or pay for permitting. I really hope that someday I will find a way!
I always promised my grandparents I would help take care of them. I was a Director of Nursing in long term care for many years and worked in the industry for 30 years. I have been off work now for 2.5 years after my 14 year old son died suddenly in an accident. My grandmas Financial POA’s placed her in a personal care 2 years ago without consulting with me her medical POA. In October 2019 she was close to death with stg 4 kidney failure and CHF with major fluid overload. The facility failed to notice even her face was swollen. I decided she was coming home with me asap…i needed to fullfil my promise and care for her. She moved in with me at the end of October on Hospice thinking she would not last 2 weeks…..she got better! She is happier than she has been in a long time. She see’s her great grandchildren and our dogs and cat. She is part of the family and feels safe and loved with people she knows. I should be returning to work but I chose to stay home with her until the very end. It is a financially difficult situation but I would give everything I own but my home to care for my hero…the grandma that loved and cared for me my entire life.
This is just a wonderful idea and a great way to grow older. If I had money available to help and coordinate one near us I would do do this for the older living. We deserve this way to live out the rest of our lives and be happy. Our Grandparents and parents ❤️ deserve this kinds of growing old together and happy.
I love this idea! I always told my husband that if he goes first I would probably go live with my sister or one of my friends! We do have two daughters and I would hope that they would want me, but I would never want to be a burden on them like my own mother was on us. I love the idea of having people around while still having my own space. This is perfect! Seniors helping seniors!
Take your parents home with you. The grand children and great grandchildren will adore them, and this will keep them young. Children have a way of getting older people to do things that they would never consider doing if the Dr. asked them to. And just the love from family knowing someone still wants you makes such a difference in their life. No one wants to be put away in a home so open up yours and maybe you’ll be as lucky someday and your kids will say welcome to your new home.
I recently moved in with my daughter son-in-law and grandchildren I had to have surgery and got sick I can not live on my own anymore so I moved in with them have my own room and I helped out with the kids and the house whenever I can I also split the bills with her so she now has extra money for her family and I have extra money and it gives me that motivation to get up every day and makes me feel useful I’m not going to say there wasn’t an adjustment period cuz they’re definitely was I was used to my way and she was used to hers but we work through it and it’s a compromise but where there is family there’s love I never thought I would say this but I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else at this stage in my life
I’m a single senior in Canada receiving OAS, CPP and GIS. I sold my house and bought a mobile home in a lovely park in the same city where my children live. It’s all one floor living, quite comfortable and neighbours are close by. I feel very safe and secure here. I even have a small garden to enjoy. I do pay pad fees but they’re not high like rent on an apartment. Mobile home living is often overlooked by many.
The is a really nice one here in phx that we looked at for my mom years ago. It was exactly this set up described. We couldn’t do it because the cost was very high. It was a shame. They really do take all they can get from the elderly. Sad.
We had a college dorm that had a main living area, bathroom and mini kitchen surrounded by five smaller dorm rooms. It built great community!
Major decision to sell house. Keeping it up is getting very difficult. I am always checking for where to live after I finally make that decision.
After my father died my mother needed help I would never have even suggested a nursing home to her. She would move in with me, but I wanted her to have her own suite in my house. So I sold my house and she sold hers. She split the money from her house with me and my other sibling. I was able to buy a house with a two-bedroom to accommodate her. We lived that way for several years until her health started failing her. So I moved her upstairs where I could be close. That is where she died months later.
I have told my friends when we need help we will all move in with each other no nursing homes for us!
I’m not sure where these housing places are? In the States? I am in Canada and have been trying to see if there are any old high school friends that are in need of shared housing due to being on the pension alone (it doesn’t cover everything) I have searched a few retirement residences and they are out of reach for most of us as well. Not all of us have children with their own homes, or big enough to house the parents. Not sure where to turn right about now.
It is great that you were able to have your mom stay with you. When my mother was sick, I moved into my parents place with my two girls to look after her until she passed. Then my dad sold the house and I built one more suitable for him to access and he lived with us until he passed. Unfortunately I don’t have that house anymore and am renting, but will need to leave here due to the pension not being enough. I was working, but had to quit due to health reasons.
Unfortunately, you’re talking about two different things. “Nursing Homes” are for those who cannot care for themselves. If those patients were able to live in a situation like you recommend, they wouldn’t be able to go into a nursing home–they’re not eligible.
Eligibility means: “you are unable to perform, without substantial assistance from another person, at least two activities of daily living for an expected period of at least 90 days due to a loss of functional capacity; or. you require substantial supervision due to your severe cognitive impairment.”
Good point ., we all want to believe that will NEVER be us but we need to keep our minds open stay healthy but if it is a necessity do what’s Safe
Thank you Debra! My husband and I had an argument about nursing homes being the intro to this article. As you said, Nursing homes are for those who can not care for themselves. This sounds much more like the 55+ community we live in now.
Village Hearth Cohousing is a 55+ LGBT, straight friends and allies in progressive and vibrant Durham, NC. We are currently constructing 28 small, accessible cottages on 15 beautiful wooded acres near to the Eno River and 20 minutes from downtown. Move-in is April 2020. Only four homes left! Find out more by visiting us at http://www.villagehearthcohousing.com, emailing us at VillageHearthCohousing@gmail.com or calling us at 561.714.8009.
Well I agree this country needs more than choices we have now: live in your own place, go to an asstd living facility, or move in with family. Co housing allows for independence, but sharing commonplace areas all at a fraction,(I,hope!) Of an ALF!
Will be checking into this option for my “retirement years”. Thanks for info!
This sounds wonderful, but will probably be too costly for many of us widows living on a limited income. Would love to see this in the future for those of us in that situation and not have to depend on a child or children to care for us as we age.
Children should care for family. For the most part; they still do in other countries; especially Europe. As our priest said on Mother’s Day – One mother could take care of and raise five children, but now days, five children cannot take care of one mother. My grandmother was 94 when she passed away. She lived with my mom and dad from age 90 to age 94. My parents are 86 and 85 respectively and still live on their own. When the time comes that they cannot do so, they will move in with me. Family taking care of family; that is what it is all about. Thst helps keep the family strong and close.
This article offered a different suggestion that I had expected. I wouldn’t mind co-renting a nice two or three bedroom apartment with a couple of friends of my age, if we each had our own bathrooms connected to our bedrooms.
Why is the author addressing this article to the offspring of seniors? Im 57 and am capable of finding my own situation. Many seniors have no offspring. I cant seem to find coliving infornation directed towards me.
Amber-I agree with you. This is something I would like to have as an option down the road as I’ve no children and an extremely small extended family.
My mother 76 and handicap has live with me(her daughter) and my family since she fell living independently 18 months ago. In the next few weeks my husband’s grandpa (85) will be moving in with us.
I did have the privilege of having my mom in my home. She had Alzheimer’s and passed in 2015 but it was a great honor. My daughter has Down Syndrome. It was just us 3 ladies! I asked mom’s opinion on things about my daughter, what we’d fix for supper and what we needed to buy. For a long time you really couldn’t tell she had alzheimer’s. My siblings and I agree taking care of my daughter kept her alert for a long time. She even went with us to Special Olympics.
My mom passed at 82 with 12 years diagnoses of Alzheimers and died 2015 at home with Dad as main caretaker and family/later hospice for a year. Then my twin brother died who had Downs Syndrome. He was in a group home a d we brought him back to home and Dad and family watched him with hospice till death. Not too many places in small communities have opportunities to live with others at low cost. My Dad is determined to be home till the end and he turns 90 in May. He has chronic pain, and lives by self. Very lucky for his 2 daughters to live e within 15 minutes away. But….days are long and lonely!
I love this. My mother came to live with us when she was 77 years old, as she said she could not live alone. She was with us for fifteen years, until she passed and was a wonderful help, often fixing dinner for us and doing some of the shopping. She was also a great mentor for our youngest daughter and our grandchildren. She loved to travel and gave us the opportunity to take her places we might not have been able to without her being here.
Sounds good. Seniors still want our own space, take trips, and be able to be around others who are our own age.