Yes, You Need To Vent To Your BFF
The moms I know are all about venting to their BFFs and always have been. They know that calling your best friend to vent, complain and grumble about literally everything stressful in your life is a lifeline like no other.
Everyone needs a bestie they can vent to when the world is about to make them low-key crazy. If you’re feeling like you might actually pull every strand of your own hair out of your head, you’ve got to vent to someone. Before a minor frustration turns into a full-on case of misplaced anger, call your bestie and as Elsa says, “let it go.”
Whether you’re feeling a little stressed, or the kind of large scale frustration that creates storm clouds around you, read this article about using jasmine to relax. And if you happen to be in the Los Angeles area, maybe you’ll want to visit the spa that lets you take a bath and a nap.
Why You Need to Vent (and who to vent to)
I recently read an article on Smart Parenting that talks about the reasons for having a “vent buddy” and why that relationship is so important to moms. They point out a lot of great reasons for venting to your friends.
1. You won’t feel alone. Having a good friend who is empathetic and listens without judgment is like pouring a cup of water on a small fire. In this scenario you are the fire and your friends is cool water. You can always count on her to be there when you need her.
2. Venting to your friend releases stress. Stress hormones cause all sorts of nasty business in your body and your life. The Mayo Clinic lists some of the problems caused by bottling up stress.
Memory and concentration impairment
In short, you’ll be happier, healthier and a much better partner and parent.
3. A good venting session can lead to good advice. The thing about having a “vent buddy” you can call is that she’s happy to offer advice – if you want it. She’s probably dealt with some of the feelings you’re having and can share how she handled it.
4. If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. If Momma wants to be happy, Momma needs a best friend to talk to.
5. Pour out all those negative emotions. When you’re feeling like a bottle of pop that’s been shaken up until the pressure is about to blow, call your trusted “vent worthy” friend. She’ll offer up a safe place to start loosening the top on that shaken bottle.
Keeping It All In Is a Bad Idea
6. Psychology Today basically says your brain might break if you don’t.
“Venting helps to restore your equilibrium. When your emotions have catapulted to the ceiling because you’ve let something get to you, your higher neo-cortical functioning goes offline. And with that impairment, your mental faculties can become addled—discombobulated. But if you have a trusted confidant(e) to assist you in regaining control of these rattled feelings, you’ll be able to think more logically. And hopefully, you’ll then be capable of viewing the disturbing situation from a less exaggerated—or distorted—perspective.”
Who You Should (and Shouldn’t) Talk To
C.S. Lewis famously said, “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”
7. You need a bestie who isn’t going to think you’re the worst Mom ever. When you tell her you were so tired of “Moming” yesterday that you let your munchkins watch 3 hours of YouTube videos, there is no judgment.
She’s an even better friend if she goes on to tell you about the time she let her kids eat cake for breakfast.
8. Maybe it shouldn’t be your Mom
Talking to your Mom about the knock-down, drag-out you had with your husband will feel good in the moment. She’s probably going to take your side and comfort you. Even though she might try to get you to see his side, the comfort you get from her might not be worth the cost. Why?
Because Moms don’t forget.
When someone hurts one of her kids, she may forgive them eventually. She will not, however, forget. If you want her to love your husband and not think of him as the guy who made her daughter cry, give some thought to how involved you want her to be.
You’ll forgive him. You’ll get over it. Ask yourself whether she’ll be able to do the same thing.
Who is the friend you go to when you’re frustrated?
Really, she’s worth gold. Shoot her a text right now to tell her so.